Positive Parenting

Trauma Bonding: The Mistakes Parents Are Making

Trauma Bonding: The Mistakes Parents Are Making

Do you end up yelling at your kiddo to feel heard? We’ve all done it because…well, it works! It gets the cooperation in the moment but long term, it's not effective for the relationship.

If you’ve never heard of “Trauma Bonding,” you’re not alone.

…but if you’ve got a strong-willed child, more than likely, trauma bonding should be on your radar!

Winning Tips for Stressful Bedtime Battles

Winning Tips for Stressful Bedtime Battles

Recently, a momma in my group posted, "I'm going out of my mind. I can't keep my child in bed. She gets up like a million times a night and gets into my bed."

She needed help, and wanted it right away…

Tattling or Telling: How To Explain The Difference

Tattling or Telling: How To Explain The Difference

Motherhood is full of challenges every single day. There are a thousand decisions that she will make on the fly. And then she will lay in bed at night and think about the choices she made, wondering if she made the right choice..

Frequently, mom guilt comes into play because she makes a decision

#6 Simple Rules for Raising Respectful Communicators

#6 Simple Rules for Raising Respectful Communicators

Have you ever been called out on the carpet by one of your kids for doing something wrong? Maybe it wasn't even something that you thought was wrong - or perhaps you knew it was wrong - but, for whatever reason, your child thinks it is wrong and calls you out on it? Ouch!

Discover how easy it is to raise a respectful child with these 6 simple rules of communication.

The No Good Bad Word

The No Good Bad Word

Do you know what the no-good bad word is that we tend to always say as moms and should never say? It's the word "punishment." Are you using the word "punishment" when the kids do something wrong or don't listen?

If you find yourself saying, "You're going to be punished for that," let me tell you a little story:

When I was a kid growing up

Parenting Stress Provides Surprising Opportunities

Parenting Stress Provides Surprising Opportunities

The headlines online and in the newsstands continue to report on the spread of Coronavirus. Public facilities are stepping up their protocol to keep everyone safe and well. But it’s easy to see many are beginning to panic as they consider the “what-ifs.” In these times, it is valuable to have a plan B for our families in a world of uncertainty.

While authorities work diligently to…

The Truth About Mom Guilt

The Truth About Mom Guilt

I WATCHED WITH AMAZEMENT as that little pregnancy stick revealed a positive in the indicator window. I was going to be a mama, and I was so excited. During the nine months that followed, I did everything possible to make sure I would be the best mom ever.

I read all the books, did all the research, took all the vitamins, and ate all the right foods. I did everything required to be an amazing mom. And when the baby came, he was perfect. I thought life would be so perfect. I was ready to be the ideal mom.

The Inside Scoop On Parenting Through The Teen Years

The Inside Scoop On Parenting Through The Teen Years

YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY, and you're dedicated. But you also know that parenting a teen or tweenager is hard work.

Everybody says the attitude is normal, just deal with it. But how do you get through the day-to-day of parenting? How do you keep things from escalating? How do you maintain your cool in the moment?

How to Prepare Strong-Willed Kids For The New School Year

THE SUMMER MOOD HAS SAILED and September rushes in its autumn vibe. School assignments and work schedules now compete for everyone’s attention. Mother and child both scramble to acclimate to a quicker tempo.

Chaotic emotions often characterize this academic month with its new opportunities and higher expectations. A pleasant state of mind may seem unsustainable with all the busyness, but the wise mother will always find a way. 

Read more here

Excerpt taken from ‘Mother Matters’ article first published in the Montclair Local News, written by Parenting Coach & Columnist, Loyla Louvis, AACC.

Goodbye Summer, Hello Class

Goodbye Summer, Hello Class

Some children may be eager to put the summer behind them, happily awaiting the adventures of a new grade with friends they may not have seen all summer, but there will be others who may be more hesitant about entering the new school year, as they anxiously consider new schedules, peer pressures, and homework. 

How To Speak So Your Child Feels Secure

THE ROUGHEST WAVES OF OCEAN FARE are no threat for the ship secured by an anchor. Properly employed, this steely hunk of crafted metal delves speedily through an underwater world of plant life and sea creatures to find its destination. In order to stabilize its craft above, it wedges uncompromisingly into a seabed of mud and clay.

Anchors, however, have another application that only the wise will understand and employ:

not all anchors are made of metal, and not all storms brew at sea.

In the turbulence of busyness and personal agendas, it may not take much for a mother to communicate with her child in such a way that weighty messages are cast over the threshold of her lips, anchoring themselves in the depths of her little one’s heart.

Read more here.

Excerpt taken from ‘Mother Matters’ article first published in the Montclair Local News, written by Parenting Coach & Columnist, Loyla Louvis, AACC.


A Positive Attitude Reveals Golden Opportunities For Mom

A Positive Attitude Reveals Golden Opportunities For Mom

THE IRONY OF MOTHERHOOD is that while Momma is busy raising her child with the hope of cultivating maturity, the child is simultaneously causing her to evolve as a human being. The conflicts in family life promote growth in parent and child alike.

These same challenges, unfortunately, hold an added level of complexity for Mom…

Honesty: It's A Gift

Honesty: It's A Gift

THE DESIRE FOR CLOSENESS AND CONNECTION is at the root of all our pursuits in life. It’s the reason we marry, have children and seek friendships. It is the reason why we work so hard to cultivate all the relationships we hold dear. Yet, I wonder how many acknowledge honesty as the glue which bonds these highly sought-after connections.

Although universally valued, honesty may…

Communication for Cooperation

Communication for Cooperation

A well-intentioned mother speaks words of wise instruction expecting to be heard, acknowledged, and met with cooperation. When the only response from those she cares most about is a meaningless glance or flippant nod, it’s easy to understand why Mom might resort to modes of communication which are later regretted or that poorly display the dignity she desires to reflect.

A mile-long list of responsibilities, chores, and concerns weigh heavily on her mind, and so it’s no wonder…

Embracing a New Parenting Chapter

Embracing a New Parenting Chapter

Sparkling champagne, songs of celebration, and the crystal-laden globe of New Year’s Eve festivities usher in a fresh year filled with hope and dreams. A clean, white slate invites each of us to author a new chapter in our parenting story where wrongs are made right, chaos is conquered, and life’s challenges feel a bit more surmountable.

The past serves as a brilliant teacher, enlightening us with new insights regarding old attitudes, mindsets, and perspectives. The desire to avoid repeating the mistakes of yesterday is a legitimate reason to pause and reflect, motivated by the resolve to do better in the days to come.

As you take a deep, cleansing breath and courageously script the next chapter of motherhood, determine to make this one a high point in the parenting journey. With the heartfelt longing of any mother to improve relationships and build stronger bonds, let’s consider ways in which you might step out of yesteryear and seize the opportunities which exist in the year ahead:

While the Clay is Wet...

While the Clay is Wet...

How much time do you have to influence your child? This isn't a question any new parent takes the time to think about, generally speaking. I'm not sure many seasoned parents take the time to consider this question either, but it's an extremely important one though.  As the adage goes: "The days are  long, but the years are short."  Time is definitely a commodity, a precious resource, and what you do with it will determine your quality of life at home.