I WATCHED WITH AMAZEMENT as that little pregnancy stick revealed a positive in the indicator window. I was going to be a mama, and I was so excited. During the nine months that followed, I did everything possible to make sure I would be the best mom ever.
I read all the books, did all the research, took all the vitamins, and ate all the right foods. I did everything required to be an amazing mom. And when the baby came, he was perfect. I thought life would be so perfect. I was ready to be the ideal mom.
But as time moved on, I discovered I wasn't getting enough sleep or exercise. I wasn't finding enough time in a day, and worst of all… I was making careless mistakes. I wasn't perfect. It didn't take long for mom guilt to set in. A downward spiral was beginning.
Mom guilt clouded my vision as I viewed myself as "not enough." Ever so subtly, I began to notice other things too. I saw my spouse wasn't doing enough around the house or making enough money. I was lonely, and my friends weren't around often enough. Nothing was ever quite enough. I began to see the deficiency in everything.
My mindset was spiraling into negativity. It was like living in a mode of deficiency, and it started to transfer a toxic message to my family. I didn't know it at the time. The message was, "I'm not enough. You' are not enough. We are not enough." It was scary. It was defeating, and it left all of us with a sense of failure.
It was an unconscious message that started with mom guilt. I couldn't see it back then. I had set my expectations so high that when I didn't deliver - when I didn't live up to my own expectations - I got down on myself. I got down on everyone. The deadly message was: Nothing is enough!
So what was the solution? I had to change my mindset and the lens through which I viewed everything. I had to discover all the ways that I am enough. It was either going to be a new mindset or total collapse.
So I daily told myself, "I am all I have, and my best is enough. There's enough money to do whatever we need to do, and there's enough time to do whatever we really need to do. We can make it work." I let go of my expectations and preconceived notions of what life SHOULD be like for me. I let it all go…
When I turned my mindset around, it changed how I looked at me. It changed the mom guilt to a mindset of success, a mindset of: We can do this!!
During that time, I reached out for God in a way I never had before. I threw myself before His feet every day and said, "YOU have to get me through today. I can't, but you CAN!"…and He did!
Mom, you are enough.
You are enough!!
If you have a negative mindset about yourself, it creates mom guilt and sends the wrong message to the family. It affects everybody and everything. It becomes like a negative lens through which everything looks deficient.
We are moms, and we are enough. Our children are enough. We can make it work, whatever our circumstances, and with whatever time we have, we can make it all work out. With God's promises in one hand and the other to the plow, we will always make things work out.
If you're struggling with a negative mindset or mom guilt, thinking that you're just not enough for your family, reach out to others for support.
I'd love to help you find your positive mindset and make better use of your resources because, Mom, you have enough, and you ARE enough.
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